10 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Self-Esteem

10 Steps to Cultivate a Positive Self-Esteem

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – The Buddha

Feeling pessimistic, lack of confidence and self-pity? Easily stressed, distressed and depressed?

These could stem from low self-esteem—a negative, unrealistic perception of oneself that is the source of many other miseries. In other words, how you view yourself could undermine your overall satisfaction of life.

How to develop a positive self-esteem? Here are the 10 steps:


1. Celebrate your True Self Within

Your true self is your most pristine innate divinity. You can call this divinity your Buddha nature or Higher Self or Consciousness; it doesn’t matter how you name it. The point is: you already possess this True Self, your divinity within, since the day you were born.

By perceiving that your true self is the most precious in the Universe, you will no longer be lonely. You do have the power within create and transform reality. It is just a matter of choice and action to elevate self-esteem through oneness of inner being.


2. Self-Acceptance

You may feel like a square peg in a round role; a misfit who doesn’t have a sense of belonging. The truth, however, is that everyone is unique. You do not need to be perfect to accept yourself for who you are. Allow your heart to open and love will flow.

Nor do you need to get recognition from others to have positive self-esteem. Stay true to your wisdom and principles and have faith in your own eternal True Self.

By accepting and loving who you are, you become more of who you are. Self-acceptance in itself is a way to strengthen your sense of self-perception.


3. Focus on Your Strengths

Your strength is your weapon to drive you to ultimate success. By focusing on your strengths while managing your weaknesses, you can create the greatest values.

Everyone is born with some talents. You may be hopeless in public speaking but you are a creative writer; you may not be academically-inclined but you are good at sports. Identify your strengths and make full use of them is the way to unleash your greatest potential.

Do not compare yourself with others, it will be like comparing an apple with an orange. When you make the comparison with others as part of your life, you will always feel dissatisfied and frustrated. So, stop comparing with others, just be yourself.


4. Forgive & Let Go

Resentment, grievances or unhappiness only impede your self-esteem. Let go of the unpleasant memories, hurt, worries, and disappointments by letting go of the past and forgiving your nemesis. Forgiveness enhances your self-worth as a human being which in turn enhances your self-esteem.

Guilt or shame about past mistakes can block you from increasing self-esteem. At this very moment, you have the choice to create a better future. You may not be able to change what has already happened, but you can have control and choices in the future.

Practice detachment. It gives you another chance to bounce back and become stronger.


5. Life-Long Learning

Reading is the privilege of a human being. It serves to widen our horizons and perspective so that we are not so inclusive in our thinking. Read motivational stories and biographies to gain inspiration, hope and encouragement.

Learn a new skill or hobby such as dancing, painting, photography, singing etc. These activities will bring you much enjoyment and fun. You will never know that your passion will become another source of income for you in the future!

You can participate in seminars, conferences, and workshop to upgrade yourself. These platforms are excellent opportunities for you to connect with like-minded people who may inspire you in your journey of self-improvement.


6. Engage in Positive Self-Talk

Your constant thoughts determine your emotions. When you engage in positive self-talk by choosing positive words and affirmation, you will feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

Reframe your thoughts by considering the alternatives so that you will develop a balanced perspective. For example, you know that there are two sides to a coin; mistakes, rejections, disappointments can be great stepping stones for you to become a better person.

Remember, refuse to see yourself as a failure. A mistake is something you have done, but a failure is definitely not something you are.


7. Volunteer

Spend some time to do volunteer work for charitable organizations. When you help those who are physically or mentally challenged, you will notice how fortunate you are.

When you help those who come from dysfunctional families, you will realize that there are many more people who are struggling in their lives as well. You are, after all, not too bad as what you think you are.

Volunteer activities expand your life and your being. It connects you with more people to understand the true reality in this world.


8. Participate in Interest Groups

Join an interest group to link you to others sharing the same passion. By doing things you love, you expand your happiness and enjoyment.

Meetup.com is one of the platforms to organize and participate activities with like-minded groups. By staying socially active, you will stay mentally and physically engaged to the vibrancy of the outside world. Connecting with people who share your passions and interests do wonder to your overall well-being.


9. Keep a Journal

Journaling is a good way to help you do self-reflection for personal growth. Pen down your thoughts, your struggles and your learning experiences. Leave your worries not in your head and heart, but in your journal.

Mobile apps that allow you to express daily gratitude are a dime a dozen. You can always download these apps to keep your gratitude journal. When you review your past entries, you will be surprised how much you have grown thus far.


10. Give Generously

Giving is an expression of love. Here are some ways to give:

give praise, encouragement, smile and words of encouragement

– practice random acts of kindness and lend a helping hand to those in needs

– take the initiative to bring more joy to people

By spreading love and happiness, you will definitely enhance your self-esteem and well-being.



Whenever you are feeling lacking of confidence and self-esteem, always remind yourself that you are supremely beautiful and distinctively unique. Having a positive self-esteem is not a far-fetched dream, it can be achieved with conscious practice everyday.

Your thoughts?

Any other ideas on how to develop positive self-esteem? Do share with us!

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