30 Principles on How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie is an American writer, lecturer, and course developer of many courses such as self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. The legacy of Dale Carnegie is not only the books but a global learning and development organization known as Dale Carnegie Training that trains corporate executives in the areas of leadership and personal development.
He is the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948) etc.
There are 4 parts in the book How to Win Friends and Influence People, this post summarizes the first and second part:
- Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- Part Four: Be a Leader – How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Do you want to win trust, respect, and friendship from people? Here are the 30 principles to help you to achieve your goals:
Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Principle #1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
Principle #2: Give honest, sincere appreciation
Principle #3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You
Principle #4: Become genuinely interested in other people.
Principle #5: Smile
Principle #6: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Principle #7: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle #8: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
Principle #9: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Principle #10: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle #11: Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
Principle #12: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Principle #13: Begin in a friendly way.
Principle #14: Get the other person saying, “Yes, yes” immediately.
Principle #15: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Principle #16: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
Principle #17: Try honestly to see things from the other’s point of view.
Principle #18: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
Principle #19: Appeal to the nobler motives.
Principle #20: Dramatize your ideas.
Principle #21: Throw down a challenge.
Part Four: Be a Leader – How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Principle #22: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
Principle #23: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Principle #24: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
Principle #25: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Principle #26: Let the other person save face.
Principle #27: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in you approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Principle #28: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Principle #29: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle #30: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Selected works by Dale Carnegie: